Claustrophobia
December 18, 2024 by Layla Mesa

Waves of bodies 

form around me.

pressed limbs on

limbs. sweaty skin

sealed with mine.

This feeling is

inexplicable.

I am aware of 

every touch

yet i want 

nothing

more

than 

to

d

i

s

a

p

p

e

a

.


However,

loneliness

in itself

is suffocating.

the thoughts

surround me

like these

bodies.

is it me?

how do i 

make it 

s

t

o

p

?



the heat of

the room

engulfs me.

the warmth of 

strangers.

the burning of

my blood.

it does nothing 

but make me

i

t

c

h

.


i wish my skin

would tear apart.

i wish to feel the

cold air surround

my bare veins.

feel my arteries 

dance in the wind.

i want my skull to 

crack and unravel 

my brain into its

pieces, freeing me

from overthinking 

freeing me from the

pain and guilt. that

haunts my

m

i

n

.


I try to

breathe.

in a room

suffocated by

dust and

smoke.

i consume it

with every

staggered

inhale.

exhale

and i am 

empty 

again.

in a body

like mine,

space

is a

l

u

x

u

r

y

.




Layla Mesa is second year Fine Arts student. Her main passions in her art are illustration and poetry. "This was one of the writing assignments given to us throughout our Intro to Poetry class, taught by Merlin Ural Rivera, which became my favorite class I have taken this semester and in general," Layla says. "The prompt of the assignment was to write something that makes you uncomfortable or something you have always avoided writing about. So I decided to write about my fear of tight spaces. I tend to avoid writing or even talking about this fear of mine, because many people don’t believe that I genuinely am claustrophobic, given that I live in New York and go to punk shows, which are filled with people in a small area. So to acknowledge these opinions I decided to write the poem, to explain how I feel and what goes through my mind when going to these punk/screamo shows while maintaining the fear of tight spaces."