This question bothered me for days: What brought me to New York? Looking back and reviewing my experience of studying abroad, it's pretty hard to summarize the bullet points or to present a slideshow for this question----to be honest, the story is not legendary at all. If I were an 80-year-old, I would say, "Coming to New York was one of the funniest jokes in my life, but it did change something." Here is the story.
I wasn't meant to be here. That's the premise. It all started as a joke from my dad. As a typical underage Chinese kid, who depends on my parents' financial support, what I mostly do is carry out my parents' orders, fulfilling their expectations, prioritize their instructions over my own wishes. Plus, due to my lack of insights into the world and being born in a big city as a premise, I really don't have a clear goal for my college choice or a clear idea for my future, such as chasing a better life out of the middle class or changing my life or something. After a couple of business trips to America my dad decided: "Let's send our daughter to study in America, where education conditions are open and excellent." He said this to my mom at the dinner table. "Do you remember Uncle Li's daughter? She was shy. She came back from America she was like a different person." It was an ordinary day when I came home from junior high school and listened to my dad's speech on the American Dream; I was puzzled. Where is New York? The other side of the earth? The city where the Statue of Liberty is? Travel agency ads, pictures on the news, headlines on social media, stories, and characters from New York passed on by word of mouth all came rushing into my mind in a flash. I was sent to study in a famous international high school in the local area and aimed to attend the universities in the United States. I admire my dad's spirit of experimentation and his confidence as a first-time parent.
In three years, I forwent the chance to study for China's college entrance examination. Instead, I finished IGCES, IB course, TOEFL test, and SAT. Studying abroad is not easy, mentally or physically; plus, this is a road from which there is no turning back. Those days, I suffered from numerous papers, exams, and after-class activities because all IB students must be comprehensive and diverse. However, I met many friends who have similar goals for the future. I enjoyed the moment we shared ----preparing for the tests, rehearsals and performances for charity, and the conversations about the future. I have to admit that I was a deserter, and for the first time I awakened under my parents' decisions----I chose art instead of social science, which my parents expected. I ran away from the papers and hid in the world of art, which I enjoyed the most when I was a child. My application was unexpectedly smooth, and I chose SVA for the distinguished alumni and unique geographical conditions, like most other SVA admirers. New York City has mysterious magic to attract the aliens to come in and take a look; the magic appears everywhere, the movies, the poems, the songs, and the social media of the influential celebrities, the legendary stories of rags to riches.
New York is such a special place for me. My first impression was terrible, and it was because of all the dirty garbage bags clogging the streets. The infrastructure level in New York seems to be stalled in the last century. Walking into the subway, full of subtle smells, you will see the ground straggling with mice; then you're eventually dazed by the messy subway lines. If you are not familiar with the route, an unreasonable map often guides you to the place without rhyme or reason. Five different nationalities can sit in one row at a time. The dirt on the wall, the flyers on the telegraph poles, and trash on the empty streets as early 7 a.m., as well as the nippy winds from all sides of the blocks, convincing me that New York is not simply the great city that I expected.
The truth is that New York City is complex; it's both heaven and hell, it contains the rudeness and the kindness, it accepts the quickness and the slowdowns. People enjoyed the freedom of claims and rejections to the authorities, and sometimes liberty brought uncertainty and danger to the public. The city embraces all races and colors, all clothing styles or lifestyles. The tidal group is busy working on the island and this leaves the island exhausted, but a group of people enjoys Greenwich Village's slow jazz lifestyle. I appreciated Whitehead's descriptions of New York. In The Colossus of New York, a dazzlingly original work of nonfiction, Whitehead recreates the vitality, the chaos, the promise, and the heartbreak of New York. New York is like a thousand layers of cake: how you hang out with people, what neighborhood you live in, what restaurants you go to, what jobs you do -- every detail determines your place on the cake. Not many people can climb to the cream part of the cake, but that part is the legendary American dream.
The shaking of the New York fantasy has become more pronounced during the pandemic. The openness and freedom create trouble in managing the city and controlling the public under the spread of the virus. I am not a political person, but I have to be anxious and sensitive to the international policies and any changing policies to international travelers. Spending a year or so taking online courses in China, I realized that I was not thinking of "home" until I left home. My nostalgia and uncertainty climbed to the top level in my junior year. To be specific, I did all the junior personal projects about China and my hometown Wuhan, except the pictorial thesis about New York.
It seems that I conveyed much more hate than love. I do love the diverse and miraculous city. Everyone feels the energy of the city in different ways. Once you go on the streets, a passenger, a homeless person, a fancy shop at the next corner, will bring you surprises. Choose a leisurely afternoon and walk the High Line alongside the garden that was once a freight railway; you will get a great view of Manhattan from a deserted railroad track. Looking at the graffiti on the old factory walls, the plants of grass and shrubs growing luxuriantly, and the modern skyscrapers, I feel the prosperity and change of the whole city. The city has endless stories and never gets boring. Taking a walk around Times Square and watching the people passing by, you can feel their impatience. Everyone looks tired and anxious. Sometimes I walk in a crowd, and I can't help imagining that I became a cloud upon the sky, the bird without feet, finding nothing in this city.
I don't think New York is the most incredible or most tolerant city in the world; I certainly didn't think it wasn't tolerant. The concrete forest won't be friendly, but it won't stop you from joining in or even take you along for the ride. New York is a magical city. All the good and the bad in the world can be experienced here. It changed me without consciousness, the way I view the world, how I see myself through the reflection of others, and I gradually realized what I could do for the world. Now, let's come back to the question. What brought me to New York was my lovely dream when I took a nap in junior high math class after listening to my dad's speech on the American Dream, where I became a famous artist with a reputation and admiration from the public. With my besties and other artists, I stood under the statue. Everyone was laughing warmly in the sunshine.
Yawen Hu is a senior majoring in Illustration at the School of Visual Arts. Yawen is based in New York and Wuhan, China. She has this to say about her art: "I’m always fond of using textured flat visuals to make interesting and poetic stories, which is significant in my illustrations, bookmaking and 2D animations." Visit Yawen's website at:yhu230.wixsite.com/yawenh-com