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1 EXT. EXTREME CHRISTMAS LIGHTHOUSE - NIGHT

A montage of shots displays the elaborate Christmas light show covering the house.

It is snowing. A slow rendition of “Up on the housetop“ (Christmas song) plays softly in the background.

2. INT. ATTIC - NIGHT

TIMMY (13) is struggling to carry heavy boxes labeled "Christmas decorations" down from the attic. Timmy gives up and climbs down from the attic. Timmy is wearing a yellow shirt under his blue robe.

3. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Timmy runs up the staircase to his brother's room.

TIMMY

(Screams)

Max!

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

MAX (17) the older brother of Timmy is a Christmas lights reviewer. Max posts his videos on YouTube. He is wearing a black Jackass t-shirt and black cargo pants attached with metal spikes and rings. Max is recording a Christmas lights review. He gets extremely nervous and awkward when in front of a camera.

MAX

(nervous)

Hello YouTube. Multicolored Max here and today I wanna go over my new ideas for the 2022 season of … Christmas.

Max starts to stutter and "space out" looking at the floor.

MAX

This is what the 2022 Christmas Decoration light sequence will be . . . You might remember from the last video that I’m running the Gemmy Light show . . . Ya know the Christmas trees, this year-

Max is interrupted by a knock at his door.

TIMMY

Max!

Timmy knocks on the door. Max turns off his camera and opens the door.

MAX

(Angry)

Dude!

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

MAX

I’m making videos dude! What the hell do you want?

TIMMY

I can’t carry all the boxes down from the attic by myself. I need your help!

MAX

No way, man. You know the deal. I did the outside décor so you do the inside! Mom and Dad said I'm in charge. So I call the shots!

TIMMY

If you don’t help me, I'm going to break your shitty fake tree.

MAX

The artificial tree is superior compared to any wild pine, which as you know I am allergic to. So I will help you with the tree but that is it.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Max and Timmy carry the Christmas tree into the living room. The two of them drop it. Timmy is pushed back and hits a Santa Claus animatronic causing it to fall to the group. The bulb Santa is holding breaks.

MAX

I said gently. What the fuck, man, that's mom's favorite prop!

TIMMY

Shut up, you dropped it first!

MAX

No, I did not! I just buckled, you fell!

EXT. HOUSE SIDE LAWN - NIGHT

NICKY (50) third generation Long Island Italian hears them

yelling while taking the garbage out. Nicky walks over to investigate.

NICKY

(thick Long Island accent) 

These fucking kids man . . . They just don't fucking stop man.

TIMMY (O.S.)

I literally didn't! You pushed me!

MAX (O.S.)

Don't try and blame this on me!

TIMMY (O.S.)

It's your fault, it's always your fault!

Nicky walks onto Max and Timmy's front lawn.

NICKY

I'm taking the fucking garbage out! What's with all the fucking noise out here?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Max looks out of the window and notices Nicky yelling at him to shut the lights off.

Nicky is yelling while smoking a Newport cigarette.

MAX

This slimy motherfucker!

Max marches to the front door.

MAX

If he takes one more step onto dad's property, I'm going to blow my last fuse!

TIMMY

Easy Max, leave him alone.

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

Max walks out the front door holding his animatronic snowman "Mr. Kizzy." Max knocks down other decorations while bringing out the animatronic.

MAX (CONT'D)

What the hell do you want Nicky? What's up?

NICKY

Ya know what! I'm gonna punch you in the fucking face.

MAX

Nicky stop right now! You don't want this to get ugly.

NICKY

I'm going to take these fucking lights and throw them in the garbage. And then I'm going to piss on them.

Nicky continues urinating on the LED tree.

MAX

What the hell are you doing? Stop! Stop!

Electrical sparks are flying. The Christmas lights are flashing on and off. Nicky gets shocked by the electricity and jumps back. Max celebrates.

MAX

Yes! Yes, baby! Electrocution! These lights bite back . . . Bitch!

Max punches and kicks into the air. Nicky gets annoyed and walks back to his house.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Max walks in the front door. Timmy is setting up Christmas decorations.

MAX

Hurry up and get this shit set up quickly so I can show it to my fans! I wouldn't mess with me right now. I am on fire!

Max walks up the stairs.

TIMMY

You’re not gonna help me put it up?

MAX

You know the deal. I need to finish this video before the next one. My fans need to know this information!

Timmy is struggling to hold up the tree, disappointed. He is left alone to set up all of the decorations by himself.

Timmy sets up the Christmas tree and a little village. Then he makes a cup of hot cocoa. After that, he lights a fire in the fireplace.

Timmy sits by the fire sipping hot cocoa and watches "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" (specifically the "I want to be a dentist" scene) on the TV.

Timmy laughs and sips his hot chocolate.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Lights laid out on a twin-sized bed flash to the tune of Christmas music. A camera set up on a tripod is recording the light show. Max is commentating.

MAX

This is actually my favorite. 

Another Christmas tune starts to play.

MAX

Actually this one. No this is my favorite one.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

LADDER SMACK HOUSE TRANSITION

A ladder is set up leaning on the house. up the ladder and walks onto the roof.

SANTA CLAUS

climbs

Santa walks across the roof stepping over wires and loose Christmas lights.

Santa walks to the chimney and gets smoke in his eyes. He then breathes in a large puff of smoke.

Santa rubs his eye, starts to cry, and coughs out smoke.

Santa trips on a loose Christmas light wire and falls back off the roof.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Christmas music plays loudly. The lights continue to flash to the tune of the music.

MAX

I always look forward to this song.

Santa is seen falling through Max's bedroom window. A faint scream is heard. Fading in and out.

MAX

It's one of my favorites. Probably my favorite.

Max does not hear the scream because of the loud Christmas music.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

SOUND OF SANTA'S BODY HITTING THE GROUND

Timmy is watching "Frosty the Snowman". He hears Santa scream, and his body hit the ground. Timmy pauses the movie and puts on his brown slippers.

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

Timmy grabs a large candy cane from the animatronic snowman. The animatronic snowman sings "I wish you a Merry Christmas"

Timmy walks down the front porch holding the candy cane like a baseball bat.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

Timmy walks to the left side of the house. He hears the scream. The animatronic snowman is heard from the porch.

Timmy finds Santa on the ground struggling and breathing heavily in pain.

SANTA

Oh Timmy, you're a good boy, Timmy!

Timmy runs away in fear back into the house. He runs up the porch steps almost slipping.

ANIMATRONIC SNOWMAN

Merry Christmas!

Timmy screams and runs into the house.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

TIMMY

Max!

Timmy runs up the stairs yelling for his brother.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

Timmy franticly bangs on the bedroom door. Max opens the door angrily.

MAX

Dude, you messed up my review two times now!

TIMMY

Max, there’s some guy outside dressed like Santa Claus trying to steal all of your lights!

MAX

Tell Nicky to skedaddle. I'm busy.

TIMMY

No, it's not Nicky!

MAX

What?

TIMMY

We gotta hurry. Max! There was a lot of blood!

MAX

Blood?

TIMMY

He fell off the roof, you idiot!

The lights flicker. The power goes out.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

Max and Timmy approach an unresponsive bloody Santa Claus.

MAX

Holy shit!

TIMMY

Max, what are we going to do? We have to call Mom and Dad!

MAX

No, I'm in charge! We have to call the police.

SANTA

No… please no cops.

MAX

Great, he's an immigrant, no papers huh?

TIMMY

Stop, what the hell is wrong with you? Sir, how did this happen?

SANTA

(In pain)

I tripped on this glorious display of Christmas cheer. Great job with the lights this year, Maximus.

MAX

How do you know my name?

SANTA

(In pain)

Maximus and Timothy Callahan. It's on the list.

Santa grabs a bloody scroll from this coat pocket. Timmy grabs the scroll from Santa's bloody hands. Max and Timmy turn around and try to speak privately.

TIMMY

Yeah right here, Maximus and Timothy Callahan.

(beat)

TIMMY

On the naughty list? Max, what the fuck did you do! I've been as good as I can be this year!

Santa takes his last breath.

TIMMY

(angry)

Max, are you listing to me?

Max stares off into the distance. Snow starts to fall.

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

The garage is covered in plastic sheeting. A foldable table is set up in the middle of the room. Timmy lays tools out on the table. A hand saw, medical scissors, a circular saw, a hack saw, a hammer, and a crowbar. Max enters the plastic room with Santa Claus in a wheel barrel.

The two brothers strap up Santa Claus and lift his body from the wheel barrel with a pulley system used for lifting big game and cattle. Max and Timmy struggle to put Santa Claus on the table. The two brothers drop Santa's lifeless body.

The two brothers put on Hazmat suits and gas masks. Timmy cuts Santa's suit off with the medical scissors and puts Santa's clothes into a black garbage bag. Max grabs the handsaw and makes the first cut into Santa's leg.

The two brothers chop up Santa Claus using power tools. They use the crowbar and hammer to break Santa's bones. The brothers throw severed legs and arms into Rubbermaid boxes.

EXT. HOUSE SIDE LAWN - NIGHT

Nicky marches towards the two brothers house.

NICKY

What the hell is all this racket!

Police arrive. Nicky runs away in fear.

EXT. BACKYARD - NIGHT

Max and Timmy go to the backyard and find Santa's sleigh filled with toys.

MAX

Oh my god, I can't believe it is real. Oh my God!

Max grabs presents and rips the wrapping paper off. He throws the toys he docent like on the ground.

TIMMY

Hey stop, those are someone else's.

MAX

Shut up, asshole!

Timmy and Max load the sleigh with the evidence. The brothers pick up red gas cans and douse the sleigh with gasoline. Max puts a Christmas stocking on a large stick. Timmy pours gasoline onto the stocking.

Max pulls out a Zippo lighter from his pocket and lights the stocking on fire and throws it into the gas-covered sleigh. The sleigh erupts into flames. The two brothers look into the twenty-five-foot-tall flames seriously/stoically.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

TIMMY

(Panics)

Max, what are we going to do? I can't survive juvie!

MAX

Hold on! Hold on!

Max turns on the local news.

NEWS REPORTER

Breaking news! Police have "Nicholas Scafa" in custody and have released this photo. Police believe Scafa has murdered an elderly gentleman after finding remains in his garbage can.

NICKY (O.S.)

(Prison phone call)

I didn't kill anybody! Santa clause isn't even real!

Max turns off the TV.

MAX

You have to promise me you'll keep your mouth shut about this or we're both fucked!

TIMMY

I promise!

MAX

Nah man. Say it like you mean it, or I will chop you up into a million little fucking pieces!

TIMMY

(In fear) 

I promise!

Max picks up a cat. He pets it maniacally.

MAX

Nobody will know a thing.

The cat meows.

ANIMATRONIC SNOWMAN

Just like that our story is over. Maximus and Timothy Callahan swore each other to secrecy while Nicky went down for the crime.

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT

The animatronic snowman is talking into the camera at the audience.

ANIMATRONIC SNOWMAN

But who's telling! I'm not. No way, I ain't no rat. Merry Christmas y'all. Goodnight.

A reindeer silhouette flies over the full moon.

FADE TO BLACK

THE END

Riley Thomas's script won third prize in the Eleventh Annual Humanities & Sciences Undergraduate Writing Contest. He is a Junior majoring in Film at the School of Visual Arts. Riley is a filmmaker, actor, writer, and director from Long Island, New York. Thus far, he has written and directed thirteen short films.