I wander the earth
Through these unreal cities
Have all the homelands turned to a handful of dust
Have the nymphs and their trees met annihilation
Has greed gutted greenness
Has the comfort of fraud
overcome the tune born of
plumb and true?
I celebrate myself,
and sing myself.
Or do I?
What song do I sing?
What is a song?
Who is myself?
In the dead of night
I run full speed
My bare feet hit the sea-worn planks
Like a clock
Tick, tick, tick
Warp and weft loomed with
The icy smoke of my own breath
Boom, boom, boom
I jump and for a moment all is still—
The moonlight washes me and I drink it in.
A moment ago, I was all alone.
The sea is lovely, dark and deep,
And I have promises to keep
If I die this choice I make
I will die while wide awake
I hit the water an arrow
A well oiled ship of the wind
Unflawed, undefiled
The water is of the womb.
I can breathe without breath.
The old gods are here;
And they protect me.
The visions are comets
Massive, unfathomable.
Blinded, I am shone through—
a clear glass window
Every cell in my body
Awake, annihilated, and alive.
Window to nebula
Thrumming, dazzling blues and fuchsias
Enormity
Peace.
This could be our last winter,
it could be many more.
Will my life begin before it ends?
With last night’s wine still singing in my head
I asked myself
Will this cold ocean floor
Rubbed by light
Bloom again for me?
My body leaves a translucent trail
Breadcrumbs of unbroken bubbles
Sometimes I think
I am made of ice.
But yet
There still stirs
A whisper
A whirl
Of life within me.
Whirl up your pointed pines,
Splash your great pines
On our rocks;
Overwhelm me with your beauty
And your dark sweetness.
The sky flashes
The great sea yearns
We ourselves flash and yearn
And moreover my mother told me
It is time to come home.
I emerge into the terror of a new reality.
I am being hunted.
The spotlights trawl,
Crawling on the surface of the water.
I gasp for breath.
I cling to a guidepost—
But which to choose?
The swim is—
Not enough breath
I drag through
the mud of my malfunctions.
The more I strive and strain
The more tightly bound I remain.
Aint that a damn shame.
Some days I weep for us—
Salty waves crash on hard rocks.
I see a new place
An old place
A place to slip unnoticed.
I emerge from the water
Lift myself above the rocks
To the quiet forest floor
The moss a soft kiss on my feet.
I run, but this time, silently
I run, but this time, with joy
A peace comes over me
I bloom, renewed; face warmed by sunrise
Roots watered by melting glacier snow.
Love rushes in; gentle, warm, and sudden
And what was unbearably ugly—
Cool and pleasant shadows
exactly as they should be; unhidden.
Eve Rafael is a third-year Film major at the School of Visual Arts. Her film festival directorial and co-writing debut, Push, won the Audience Favorite Award at the New York 48 hour Film Festival 2023. Upon completing her Associate Degree at CUNY BMCC she was the winner of the top honor in her major, The Academic Excellence in Video Arts and Technology Award 2022. Eve is honored to be learning from the esteemed faculty and working amongst her highly talented. Follow her creative journey on Instagram at @eve.rafael.